Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
