If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
