help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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