covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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