we're chasing vodka with high fives
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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