when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
