Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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