we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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