idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
