how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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