I looked at my own cervix.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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