lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
