i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
