Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
