I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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