big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
All the doctor said was why
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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