you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
