Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
