Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
