Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The air was thick with penises
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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