don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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