Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
