Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
