Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
