I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
