Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
