We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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