I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
