I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
