Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
