**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
