also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
