Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
