She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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