return my video game
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
