Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
