I wanna passion pit in your ass
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
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