yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
