He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
