They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
