OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
