Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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