please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
