Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
