I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
