Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
And then my night got REAL pukey
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
