someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
