I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
