Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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