Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
