i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
